Sales Is About Giving, Not Taking

Many solopreneurs have an (ahem) uneasy relationship with the word sales. They don't always say it out loud, but the discomfort is easy to sense. They don't see themselves as "salespeople", so they avoid the idea altogether. They resist it, sidestep it, or dress it up in softer language. And to be fair, they often have reasons that feel valid.

For some, selling feels intimidating. For others, it feels dull or mechanical. And for many, there is a deeper judgment at work: the belief that sales is somehow beneath them. Under all of these reactions, however, sits one powerful and damaging assumption—the belief that sales is a game of taking.

Taking money.
Taking time.
Taking advantage.

When some of us imagine sales, we picture pressure and manipulation. We think of mind games and forced decisions. We picture someone pushing for a yes that doesn't feel earned. That image didn't come from nowhere. Versions of that kind of selling did exist, especially in an era (before the internet) when information was scarce and buyers had fewer choices.

But holding onto that definition today means playing by ancient rules in a very different world.

Modern customers have power. And though some of that power is currently receding, they nevertheless have access to information, endless options, and strong alternatives. In many cases, they arrive at a conversation already educated, sometimes better informed than the person doing the selling. They do NOT want to be cornered or controlled. They want to exercise agency. They want to feel respected.

As Jeffrey Gitomer famously observed, people don't like to be sold, but they love to buy. That distinction matters. We no longer live in the world of the sales consultant portrayed by Alec Baldwin in the (in)famous 1992 movie, Glengarry Glen Ross. The coffee, dear reader—is not reserved for closers anymore. The rules have fortunately changed.

But if sales is not about taking, then what is it about?

At its core, sales is about giving.

Giving clarity when someone feels uncertain.
Giving perspective when options feel overwhelming.
Giving help when a person wants to move forward but does not know how.

The real question is no longer, “How do I close this person?” It's, “How do I help this person get what they want?” That reframing often makes people uncomfortable at first. They worry it means giving everything away or pretending the sale don't matter.

But wanting the sale is not the problem. The problem is making yourself the center of the conversation or putting your needs above those of your customer.

When you show up to contribute instead of convince, something remarkable shifts. Trust grows. Resistance fades. People lean in instead of pulling away. You stop feeling like an interruption and start feeling useful. That change alone transforms how selling feels for both sides.

And believe it or not, the people who thrive in business are rarely the slickest talkers or the most shameless opportunists. They're the most generous thinkers. This idea sits at the heart of what Bob Burg has coined the Go-Giver. These are the folks who lead with value and are welcome everywhere they go. People help them, buy from them, and refer them because generosity builds goodwill. And giving feels good.

Of course, the world involves both giving and taking, and there's nothing wrong with asking for and receiving value in return. But your posture matters. You show up to give (not merely to take) consistently and without keeping score. You understand that every conversation need not end in a blockbuster deal. Sometimes success looks like helping someone take a next step or deepening a long-term relationship.

When you approach sales this way, the work feels lighter and the process becomes more human. Living with a sense of abundance stops feeling like a distant fantasy. As Zig Ziglar put it, you can have anything you want in life if you'll help enough people get what they want. And ain't that a beautiful thing?

So no, my dear solopreneur, sales is not about taking. It's about giving. And when you get that right, everything else tends to follow, rather beautifully.