Dealing with Frustration

Maybe you can relate but I often have to remind myself not to fuse with the feeling of frustration. Experiencing frustration may not be pleasant but I’ve come to realize that it can be a type of growing pain. It’s a signal, a loud invitation to pause and reflect, to trigger growth.

When we feel frustrated, we are either annoyed about something petty or artificial (That damn fool just cut me off!), a response we can just choose to drop on the spot; or, our frustration is trying to tell us that something important is off and requires us to lean in and take a closer look.

In the latter case, we need to listen to the feeling and understand what it’s really trying to tell us.

What exactly is not working yet?

What’s the real challenge for us in this situation?

Is it really true that something totally out of my control is preventing me from getting what I want? Is there a more empowering story I can tell myself?

What might be another way to solve this part of the maze?

It also helps to know, and come to expect, that things will not always go as planned. Expect the detours. It may not be the route or pace of progress we want, but we can always find a way to keep moving forward.

When I get frustrated by my lack of progress at something big, that actually matters to me, I am reminded of the late professor Randy Pausch’s famous words:

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.